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This came through e-mail. It is supposed to be actual answers given in GCSE exams. Read it, and if you don't laugh until you cry, you either have no sense of humor, or you need to improve your English!

Words of wisdom

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein 

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot- proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." Rich Cook

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) 

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary".  Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." Ashleigh Brilliant

"Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number." Rita Rudner

  • "Nothing comes to us, everything comes through us from us. Everything in this world that happens to us comes from in here, not out here."

  • "Let's not be moons, the reflector of the light. Let's be suns. Let's be the creator of the light - the creator of ideas. We all have the capacity."

  • "Too many people stop their dreams because they start thinking about that thing that is not necessary in order to have it."

  • "To have more, you've got to become more."

  • "Success is something you attract by the person you become."

- John Earl Shoaff

 "Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead."  Mac McCleary

  • "You can achieve any goal you set for yourself if you have the discipline to pay the price, to do what you need to do, and never to give up."

  • "It doesn't matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going."

- Brian Tracy

"We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions" - Ian Percy

"If people speak ill of you, live so that no one will believe them." -Plato

"When you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

"To age gracefully

  • Fear less; hope more
  • Eat less; chew more
  • Talk less; say more
  • Hate less; love more"

 Van Buren

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  Dr. Seuss

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." Raymond Hull


"Every sunset is a sunrise."

"If you are not able to see the tree in the seed, you are not able to see God in this world."

"Every human being is responsible for it's own health."

It is better to light a single candle ...
                                                    than to curse the darkness!

"No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come."

"He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star."

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children."

"Few desires, happy life."

"The eyes are the mirror of the soul."

"Opportunity seldom knocks twice."

"Jack of all trades, master of none."

"He who is master of himself will soon be master of others."

"If you are looking for a friend who has no faults, you will have no friends."

"True love never grows old."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

"After a storm comes a calm."

"The first step is the hardest."

Have a nice day...